mad knife skills

Aaaaaand, I'm spent.

I made it back from a lovely trip yesterday, much of which was spent lying on a quiet beach with my med school girls (and guy) and eating as much seafood as possible. I tried out crab-eating for the second time, and I have discovered the key - it is THE KNIFE!! The Crab Deck gives you these lovely sharp knives with which to pick apart the crab and avoid injuries, which my friends sadly were unable to do. But having more comfort with a knife than most people who know me are ok with (my boyfriend usually keeps one eye on me at all times while I dice a tomato), I actually found that using the knife to both pry open the crab as well as scoop out and eat the meat while dexterously avoiding "the mustard" was the best way to go. Ha ha! I eat off of sharp knives! And build cabins with my left pinky! I am CHUCK NORRIS!!

~a collective round of sighs emanates from everyone who actually knows me~

As usual, I tanned quite a bit and now I think my hands are starting to age from the lack of year-round sunblock protection. (For some reason, I religiously wear sunblock on my face in winter, but not on my hands. And so, my hands are 80.) But I anticipate that in a few days, I will have settled into a healthy glow. Just in time to hit MEMPHIS, BABY!!

The thing is, I'm finding that this extended vacation time actually makes me a bit uneasy. Following The Match (which for me was in February of this year), each rotation got easier and easier, until I was barely there. And now I have about 3 weeks before graduation, then another 4 after. I love being able to finally travel the way I wanted to, but it's actually oddly frustrating to have so much free time.

(Yes, I recognize this doesn't make sense to most people. Or anyone.)

I don't know, I guess that I'm often happier and more productive when I'm too busy. I get more organized, I have a schedule, I don't spend insane amounts of time thinking about non-existent slights from other people. Sad as it is to say, sometimes having real work to do makes me feel like I have a life, because I make time for that life. Whereas now I am 100% in that life and it feels kind of empty. My med school friends think I'm nuts, but a big part of me is really looking forward to starting internship and learning stuff and being busy and working hard. I'm getting emails from my program about lab coat sizes and health forms and orientation, and it's just a little exciting. Like when I was a kid and looked forward to the third grade all summer long. It will be exciting.

(Yes, I know that in 3 months, the word "exciting" will be more appropriately reworded as "torturous". But I'm ok with the delusion.)