Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Back at the Ranch

Nobody seems to believe me, but I am really really happy to be back at my home base hospital.  After 6 weeks away at two different hospitals, it is thrilling and relieving to be back where everybody knows your name, and people say how they missed you and how nice it is to see you again.  It seems shocking to the other interns, but the nurses really are nicer at our hospital, and you miss that when you go to other hospitals where you have to go into a 20 minute explanation as to why you don't know where the 4x4 gauze is kept in the stockroom before anyone will lift a finger to help you.

It's also really great to be back with all of the other interns in my year.  It's odd to me that I missed them, but it was so nice to be among other people my age who knew me and liked me and joked with me, instead of competing with me for cases or hanging out amongst themselves.  I'm back on the surgery rotation, and this time it's with another surgical intern as well, so I'm enjoying the chance to actually work with my co-interns now that we're all coasting towards an all-surgical 2nd year.  We're all getting our contract renewals for the coming year, and it's so shocking to think how my internship is already more than half over, and I am actually surviving and smiling at the same time.  I'm excited to see who will join us for the next year, and a little nervous at the prospect of actually being in charge of people under me.  I've struggled a little with productively instructing and directing the students that rotate with us, and I've decided to make a better effort to observe the various methods my seniors use to motivate and teach them, so that I can help foster smoother teamwork, and not just scare them into hating surgery.

I only have 2 weeks on this surgical rotation, and all I can think about is how overwhelmed and busy I felt when I was doing surgery in August.  At times, I was in tears from the exhaustion and disappointment in myself.  And now, I keep finding myself with nothing to do, and wondering how I ever thought this same surgical rotation was insane.  I've had a few nights where things got a bit busy, like big cases going into the OR and the senior pager I held exploding with consults, but we managed it.  It might be that I found ways to cope, or that I simply was so busy at the other hospitals that this now seems a snooze in comparison.  Or maybe it's that it's easier to remember that, whatever happens, the call will always end at some point, and I can get things done in time.  In other words, there's less reason to panic than there was before.

This surgery thing, I think it's actually doable.  Hmm.  =)

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